Lambda Session
by Eviscer8
Summary: This has nothing to do with Half Life in any way. Really. It doesn't. Meet a crew of four, consisting of a scary guy who likes machetes, to a musician, to a sociopath, to a witty badass. They embark on an epic quest after starting the latest SBURB client: Lambda. Rated M for room to write, so I will re-rate later.


You are now Brom. You are a quiet guy with dark blonde hair, as well as a tan. You wear a small golden earing on your left ear, and you really like GUNS. You also like MACHETES. Actually, it's safe to say that you just like WEAPONS IN GENERAL. You like to DRAW too, and sometimes you actually DRAW SOMETHING that's actually PRETTY COOL. You also like to WRITE, but you are not very good at it. You have three best friends who have YET TO BE INTRODUCED, and you always have some sort of TOOTHPICK in your MOUTH like some sort of DOUCHEBAG. Sometimes, you like to play GAMES with your FRIENDS.

Your chumhandle is soundlessJuggernaut, and you don't have the time or the dignity to have a typing quirk.

You observe the various artifacts of interest around your room, and one particular thing stands out. The poster for the SBURB LAMBDA BUILD. That came out today, and the good news is that you own it! You have been looking for someone to play with, so you decide to pester your friend.

**soundlessJuggernaut [SJ] began criticizing genericJesus [GJ] at 1:05 –**

SJ: Hey. You should play with me.

GJ: what the fuck, that sounds weird

SJ: Yeah, whatever. Asshole. You have Sburb yet?

GJ: not yet, it's in my mail box right now

SJ: …

GJ: really, it's right there

GJ: the problem is getting to it

GJ: because that requires getting out of my room

SJ: How am I friends with such a lazy slob? Whatever. Just hurry up and get it, I am kind of bored to death here.

SJ: Which basically translates to something like; "Would you kindly get up off your lazy ass and walk the two feet it takes to get to your mailbox and retrieve Sburb Lambda."

SJ: Come on, how bad can it be? The worst that could happen is that you trip going down the stairs or whatever.

GJ: okay, I get it

GJ: it's going to take some time, though

GJ: because there may be the case of a wild father appearing

SJ: Oh for the sake of fuck. Just tell him that you are tired of his shit and move on. It's not rocket science, dumpass.

GJ: hehe, you said dumpass

SJ: I don't think that you are getting the disk. Chop chop, dickwad.

**soundlessJuggernaut [SJ] has ceased criticizing genericJesus [GJ] –**

Wow, that guy can be really annoying. Then again, almost everyone to you is really annoying. You spin around in your chair a few times before another one of those "friends" starts to pester you. Who is it this time?

**sleeplessNutjob [SN] began pestering soundlessJuggernaut [SJ] at 1:09 –**

SN: Brooooooooooooooooooom

SJ: Oh. Hi. What's up?

SN: Just thought I would drop in and say "hi" to a friend ;]

SJ: Okay then...

SN: So did you get Sburb Lambda yet?

SJ: Yeah, I did. Do you have it?

SN: Dude, I have had it for weeks now

SN: I only have the server client though

SJ: I don't even want to ask how you acquired Sburb Lambda before it came out.

SJ: Wait are you fucking serious? I have the server client only, too.

SJ: Dammit.

SN: Chill your shit, you stupid fuck

SN: I am sure Nexx will play with you

SJ: Are you kidding me? That moron isn't even competent enough to move the 10 feet to the mailbox and get it.

SN: Because you are all the more capable

SN: That was sarcasm, by the way

SJ: Shut up. Maybe I am. Ever think of that?

SN: Yes, I actually did, and I am still sticking with my answer :]

SJ: Whatever. Have you talked to Aura lately?

SN: Nope, but maybe you should ;]

SJ: Ummm, yeah whatever.

SN: You should go for it

SN: That would be funny

SJ: What the fuck are you talking about?

SN: You know what I mean ;]

SJ: You really do have problems, don't you?

SN: Yes, I do

SN: Thank you for noticing, Sherlock

SJ: I don't need your failing excuse for sarcasm and your terrible jokes right now.

SN: Whatever you say, captain

SJ: Yeah, fuck you too.

SN: ;]

**soundlessJuggernaut [SJ] has ceased criticizing sleeplessNutjob [SN] –**

Another refreshing conversation with Alex. You figure that to pass the time, you are going to go to sleep. Meanwhile...


End file.
